I have had the same discussion many times over the years, about taking the first step into something new. I always hear the same argument “you don’t know enough to do that!!??” or “that will never be a success because…” or “you should wait until you can see and know yourself clearer – then you can start!!!”… or “First you need to know the true outcome of what it is you want – then you can start”… I realized in an early age that if I listened to that advice, I would never be able to follow my heart, at the pace it wanted me to – and many of the experiences I most cherish today I would never have lived through.
I remember hearing these kinds of warnings from my mother when I was about 19 years old. We were out walking in the woods, and I told her about my future plans for my life. At the time I wanted to live from playing and producing music – a dream that felt very real and very attainable from my perspective. Her immediate reaction was, “No, I think you should wait until you’re in your mid-thirties – then you will have more life experiences to share from… ” A year later I had funded and recorded eight tracks to take my music career to the next level…Always being the one who wanted to work with identity, feelings, expression, energy, colors, sensations and changing the world for the better and more beautiful she still called me up one year later, after I had moved to Copenhagen and all – she then asked me, if I would consider a trainee job in a bank in my small hometown… (Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with working in a bank if that is what you’re dreaming of – but it obviously just wasn’t my dream! If you had only seen my haircut and bootcut leather pants at the time, you would have known without speaking to me!)
I was 22 then and had a clear insight at that moment when I hung up the phone… She was scared for me.. scared that I might not “make it” – whatever that meant to her… scared that I might “run into trouble”, scared I wasn’t “successful” – scared of a lot of things, which in the end, would really have nothing to do with me… and she was acting just like many parents all over the world do… trying to influence their kids to take the safe path!
In this story my beloved mother is just a metaphor, for the voices we allow to hijack our attention. I have family, friends and acquaintances with all kinds of voices, when asked about advice –
Some want it to be perfect from start, others don’t want to see you fail, others are afraid about your competence, some are afraid you will ruin your image, some think you need a perfect well thought out and well planed strategy, some think you lack the strength to find your way through, some don’t think you know enough – some, no matter where you are will never consider you ready to take the next step. And it get’s even worse – because even though their advice wasn’t your starting point or general idea, you may begin to believe what they say, more than you believe in yourself.
I tend to think that the voices we hear on the outside, only reflects the messages from voices on the inside – and sometimes we start believing some of those scary voices, more than we believe some of the others… and by continually listening and believing them, we can end up paralyzed and immobilized… in total belief that what those voices once said, is now the only reality available to us… BUT IT’S NOT!
I’m here to tell you that no matter how it seems, there are always more options available to everyone of us. I’m here to tell you to keep moving toward your dreams – there will never come a time where things will never be perfect, timing will never be perfect, partners will never be perfect, money will never be perfect, strength will be perfect, knowledge will be perfect – perfect is an abstraction we can aim for but never have from the beginning. What will get you towards “perfect” is actually taking the next step – or the leap – into some unknown territory.
What will force you to grow – if you keep your heart open – both in action, wisdom and contribution to the world – is taking steps. Maybe you take a wrong step – so what? You correct the step and take one again… and again, and again. That was how you learned to walk by the way! We screw up along the way, that’s part of the process called learning – and life! Accept it and move on!
So instead of listening to the voices trying to scare you off, challenge yourself to become more, to develop more skills, to develop more character, to develop more strength, to develop more honesty and charisma, wealth and all the stuff you find good and beautiful in the world!
You build “new muscles” by going to the gym – NOT if you sit around at home thinking about which gym is better, what kind of exercises work better, where the best trainers are, what the others will think of you or if you should wear black or blue shorts to your new trainers… you build new muscle by going there, picking the weight up and train hard consistently for an extended period.
Likewise with your dreams – you work towards them everyday – even if you can only take the smallest of steps! Don’t get scared when people around you say, what you want to do can’t be done – what do they know? Listen – it’s way too easy to stop somebody from going after their dream and worst – it doesn’t take any courage to do! Don’t listen to the haters – consider them the real loosers in this game!
Don’t let it be you being stopped! Just because you know some people who are scared from going after their dream – telling you YOU can’t! Don’t necessarily believe what they say!
Beethoven once said to his primary violinist when he complained it was to hard to play a piece, “what do I care about your pitiful earthly matters, when divine spirit is flowing and speaking through me!?”
It has some truth to it – Beethoven could hear it played inside his head, that’s why he wrote it like that! Because the violinist couldn’t play it he had a hard time believing it could be played. It could – just took some more practice and today many violin players and a whole planet is enriched by this piece!
Likewise for yourself – you can’t expect the people around you, to be able to see what you can. You have to find that inner strength, push through and show it to them!
Most people live by the equation “When I see it, I’ll believe it”…. For yourself you HAVE to turn that one around, if you want to go anywhere. Make it sound a little bit more like “I see it, when I believe it!” – because that is the law of manifestation. Everything we as a species here have accomplished we have seen twice – first in the mind, and then afterwards in the physical world!
As we can’t look into the minds of each other we have to develop the strength and skill to communicate our ideas to others until they understand them and can see the same as ourselves. And that is one of the main traits a “leader” must have no matter who he leads – even if he only leads himself. Being able to see what others yet can’t – and first and foremost influence himself to go after that. Then influence the rest of us to follow suit.
Take these two advices from a friend –
- Learn to influence yourself, to continuously go where you most want to go in life.
- Don’t surround yourself with people who say you can’t do something.
What we can do, is unimaginable beforehand to most people.
To most people it’s not about what “we can do” but what we “are willing to do”… remember if you don’t “exercise” much you get tired easily, and you are left to push with your “will”. That is the experience many are left with. In my experience pushing with you “will” is like lighting a match, compared to drawing from the energy of “inspiration towards a dream” – inspiration it will light up as a burning oilfield besides that puny match!
So in the future when somebody tries to put you down, instead of getting angry or believing in their doomsday talk, thank them for testing your faith, courage and determination. Then leave them in the dust, while you continue to go after your dream knowing you are listening to your own true voice instead of a little scared one! Remember – the greatest revenge to the haters and nay-sayers is massive success !
Believe in your dream and go out there and make it so – no one else will do it for you!